Sure am glad it's rainin'

Great White Dispatch
Notes From Damn Near Canada
No. 38
10-5-09
18:45

It’s been pissing rain for two weeks. It literally has not stopped raining for something like 12 days. Even when the sun does poke out, there’s always a dark cloud or two hanging around, ready to drop a few on your windshield, just so you don’t get too comfortable with all that warmth. But for the most part, the sun doesn’t even bother. We’ve had a peculiar wet and grey coupla weeks, a very Ohioesque stretch. It’s been kinda cool. Weeks like these actually make me miss Ohio a little.

But this morning, the rain was hard and cold and depressing. It had an extra bite to it, a subtle reminder that, yeah, this will soon turn to snow. It’s not the threat of winter that has me bummed. It’s the passage of time. Another season down. And what have you done?

When we moved to Minnesota, one of my overarching goals was to slow down. To take breaths now and again, get some things done that needed done not for practical-life purposes but for peace-of-mind, better-yourself purposes. To stop worrying about every goddamn little thing. To slow down, physically and mentally. I was going to do it. I was.

But you can’t slow down. Time won’t allow it. Christmas becomes Easter becomes summer becomes fall becomes Christmas. Every chronological landmark is a reminder of something I’ve meant to do but haven’t. The end of the baseball season reminds me that I haven’t paid my fantasy football fees. The first morning frost reminds me that I haven’t slapped plastic over the two-way wind tunnels acting as windows in my house. The falling leaves whisper that I haven’t mastered photography enough to properly capture them. Every Christmas, another year older, every New Year’s another chance to feel shitty about the three half-written novels on my hard drive.

You’d think that typing this, getting it on record, would be a form of catharsis or at the very least, a way to jumpstart myself. Something that causes me to leap into action.

Nah. I just want to bitch about something.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to watching the rain. This black and dreary day matches my mood, and I want to enjoy it. I’ll get something done another time.

*And I didn't take the photo. Stole it from somewheres.