Barns Bluff

Great White Dispatch
Notes from Damn Near Canada
No. 5
9/24/08
15:00

Since this was my last free weekend before I start the job, we wanted to actually do something. So we climbed Barns Bluff in Red Wing. This bluff is basically a rocky mini-mountain that overlooks the town, the river and the rest of the bluffs around. Barns Bluff has a 2.5 mile trail made up of crumbly steps and questionable dirt pathways that wind around the hill, finally ending at the tippy-top which is 350 feet up. Nice rock walls and formations on the way, and some goddamn pretty views once you get to the top. I wish my crappy camera could do it justice. Anyway, at one point you have to pretty much climb straight up, and a misstep could see you, um, falling to your death. Possibly the most dangerous thing I’ve ever done. Totally worth it, though.

I had to work to get up there.

From the summit.

Red Wing from above.




What you don't see is that to the left of the path is a drop of 200 feet.

Darkness, take my hand

Great White Dispatch
Notes from Damn Near Canada
No. 4

9/16/08
14:00

This house is kind of scary.

In the daytime, it’s very pleasant. Lots of natural light due to the big windows, a ton of room to maneuver due to the fact that we really don’t have enough furniture to fill the place.

But at night…different story. Those windows lead to the outside, which is where the Dark is. Where the Animals are. All this extra room on the inside? At night just places for things to hide.

Seriously. We’ve only been here three weeks, and I can’t maneuver the house just by instinct yet. The light switches are never where you think they are. And brother, this place is dark at night. I never thought I’d miss the warm glow of the Wal-Mart three streets over.

This is going to sound awfully city slicker of me, considering I grew up in Vernon, Ohio, but waking up at 3am and walking half-nekkid to the kitchen for a drink and hearing a sudden coyote howl? Right outside? Like, not ten feet on the other side of the giant picture window in the kitchen? That, my friends, will scare the shit out of you.

And having an asshole bat get into the house at two in the morning doesn’t really put you at ease.

New Zoo Review

Great White Dispatch
Notes from Damn Near Canada
No. 3

09/09/08
1400

Last night, I nearly ran over a fox in my own driveway. That about sums up what it’s like up here.

Two weeks in. Summer is over pretty much officially. While the movers were unloading our stuff, it was 95 degrees and humid. Then there was a freak afternoon thunderstorm after which the temp dropped at least 25 degrees. And that was how autumn arrived. It’s been cold as a republican’s heart ever since.

More animal business:

On the third night here, we heard a terrible screeching in the woods. Sounded like two little girls shrieking. After some investigation, we figured it out. Eagle fight. Eagle. Fight.

I have yet to actually see a coyote, but Sunday night we heard a few of them arguing over who got to raid the trash. What a terrible noise agitated coyotes make. I hope Tilly has the opportunity to kill one. Of course, for that to happen, she’d have to stand her ground instead of running away in fear. Not bloody likely.

Also Sunday, while we were eating dinner on the porch, a red tailed hawk landed on the trellis and stared us down for five minutes. Creepy and cool.

Then there’s the eight-point buck and his herd that more or less live in the back yard.

And the whole time I’ve been typing this, I’ve watched a humming bird and a bumblebee fight over the sugar water Airika put out. They keep bashing into the windows. Bumblebees. Not that smart. Hummingbirds. Possibly dumber than bumblebees.

One week in...

Great White Dispatch 2
9/01/08
22:27

One week into our Minnesota adventure (Of course, is it really an adventure if it’s permanent?) and Real Life is about to come barreling in. I have a job interview in the morning, right about the same time that our stuff will be arriving. By tomorrow night, there’s a decent chance that I’ll be gainfully employed, and a 100 percent chance that all of life’s little distractions will have finally caught back up with us. My Big Goddamn TV, all our DVDs, video games, books, clothes, and everything else will be here, filling spaces both literally and metaphorically.

In a way, even though we’ve been crazy-ass busy- running around, buying things we need to fill out this big house and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning- the weird minimalist way we’ve been living has been more relaxing than any vacation. The fact that I haven’t seen television in over a week (and haven’t really missed it) boils my mind. Our house has been filled with nothing but ourselves, the dogs, three changes of clothes (or so), the laptop, a single Ipod with speaker dock (essential), a few books, a crappy camera, a coffee pot, cereal, two quilts to sleep upon, and three flashlights (because it is DARK up here), and my guns (because it is DARK up here).

I almost wish our stuff would never show up. I like the way sounds bounce around the empty house, the way the dogs tear ass running constantly from room to room (because there’s room, they’re dogs, and hey, why the hell not?), the way we can hear every last cricket and bat and bird because, hey, what else is there to do but listen?