Out of the Grasp

Great White Dispatch
Notes from Damn Near Canada
Episode 22
3/23/09
14:30

It's raining sideways. This is a good thing.

Sideways rain means that it's warm enough for there to be rain. It's been 50 degrees here for nearly a week, and with warmer temps forecast through the end of next week, I'm officially calling it: Winter's dead here in the Land Where No Heat Hath Touched.

As far as winters go, this one was unimpressive. I'd been steeling myself for something epic, and what we got here in Minnesota was a winter that was actually a lot easier than the one we left in Ohio. Sure, we had some hairy stretches. Had a good solid week of temperatures hovering around -15, with nights threatening to dive 40 notches below zilch. Had almost six weeks straight below freezing. Saw almost nine inches of snow stack up in four hours one day. Airika couldn't make it up the road and had to trudge a mile through those nine inches. But that's it. Our first Minnesota winter left me...cold. Nyuk.

I'm already on record as being disappointed this year. I mean, I wanted stories to tell. All I'm really left with is "Um, it got real cold." So from a tale-telling standpoint, winter sucked. I expected big things and got jack. This winter is like Greg Oden. At least I didn't piss away a draft pick on Sam Bowie, I guess.

But while I'm bummed that the season petered out so quietly, I gotta say I'm glad it's gone. There's a never ending supply of trails to hike and places to check out up here in the spring and summer. I'm anxious to get started.

And it's been a long time since I got to watch a decent thunderstorm like the one developing right outside my window. Yeah, I'm alright with spring.

Up in the Eagle's Nest

Great White Dispatch

Notes From Damn Near Canada
No. 21
3/21/09
08:55

If you stand at end of our driveway (which doubles as a public road) looking across the 'main' road, you see a marshy area that leads to the Mississippi. In the winter, the scene looks positively apocalyptic. All the vegetation is dead and brown, long-gone trees are offset against the gray sky, and the stream that connects the river with the lake/pond thing across the street overflows with snowmelt and mashes down any plant that actually had a chance at living. When the water recedes it looks like one of the future scenes from a Terminator movie.

The good thing about the marsh is that all the water attracts plenty of animals and birds (and likely, mosquitoes. Hip hip.). Poking around yesterday, we saw plenty of beaver evidence. It's now my goal to get some quality beaver pictures. There's also a large eagle's nest swaying away in one of the dead trees. You get a decent view of the nest right before you turn into our driveway, but last week, there was a white head poking out. Further investigation:

Relief

Great White Dispatch
Notes From Damn Near Canada
No.20
3/15/09
15:30

This weekend, we were flooded with warm colostomy bags of relief in more ways than one. Most importantly, Airika finally received word that she passed her Minnesota State Licensure exam, which means that she’ll be able to continue working in Minnesota past May. There was a real chance, due to silly state politics and some other factors far too stupid to get into here, that she wouldn’t be able to acquire a permanent Minnesotan license. Which meant that we had until May to figure out how to either a) quadruple my salary, b) become independently wealthy or c) pack up and move back to Ohio, which wasn’t even really doable because it took all of our money to get here. Also, if one is moving to Ohio in search of jobs, one is well and truly screwed.

Anyway. This licensure saga has been encompassing us since November, the Sword of Damocles dangling over our heads. Happy as we've been here, there's been a horrible sense of foreboding for months. I'm not the most optimistic guy in the world to begin with (you may have noticed). Give me a reason to expect it all to come crashing down? Christ, just give me some pills. But it’s over now. She passed, I can continue to work for peanuts and we won’t have to move into a shantytown somewhere in Iowa. Sorry to break it to you, Minnesota, but you’re stuck with us.

As if in celebration, Old Dickhead Winter took a few days off, dropping a coupla legitimately nice days on us. Saturday started off windy and 40-ish and slowly crept up past 50. This was after a week of near-zeroes. Comparatively, I was so comfortable this weekend I felt like searching for the Ark of the Covenant. Taken out of context? Still a little nipply.

Minnesotans are funny. During the winter months, if the thermometer even thinks about drifting above freezing, everyone shoots outdoors like it’s Memorial Day. Light windbreakers flap in the (still goddamn cold) breeze, park trails fill with dog walkers, occasionally you even see some shirtless jackass driving a pickup truck. It’s lunacy. 40 ain’t warm, people. Example of typical Minnesotans on a 32+ day:

Yeah, everyone just HAD to get their boats out this weekend. Keep in mind here that when this pic was snapped, I was beyond cold. Windburn-on-the-cheeks cold. Wished-I’d-worn-my-parka cold. Was it warmer than the week before? Yes. Sunny? Absolutely. Boat weather? OhmygodNo. I mean, most of the river was still frozen. Proof:

That’s me. Standing on the river. Jake’s Number One Rule For Declaring Conditions Ideal For Boating: If the water ain’t water, perhaps you should just wait till April, JimBob. Stay at home and watch the Roast of Larry the Cable Guy or something.

I kid. It was a pretty damn nice day. Which will make it all the more hurtful when the mercury disappears next week. People around here like to oh-so-casually mention that March is a “big snow month.” Oh. How nice. I like me some winter, but after a truly springish weekend? I'm ready for some vegetation. So brown around here.

Some more random pictures:

Icebergs on the shore.

See the sail in the background? Some jackhole was ice-sailing. He had a sailboat. On ice runners.

More ice. The shores if the Mississippy nothing but mini-icebergs. The water melts and refreezes so many times you feel like you're part of something evolutionary just looking at all the layers. You also hope you don't fall through.

Just one of the many ways to build an ice-hut. You can't buy this items in stores, folks.


Red Wing is somewhat famous for its floating dock city.

Eagles

Great White Dispatch
Notes From Damn Near Canada
No.19
3/1/09
17:30

Went down to watch the eagles today. On warmer days, they're everywhere, but in cold days like today they hang around in their trees by the river. We counted 20 or 25.






Then we came home and Clyde the Deer was hanging around.