Check your balls at the door

Great White Dispatch
Notes From Damn Near Canada
No. 49
19:30
01/25/10

As punishment for dragging Airika to an afternoon of soggy pond hockey, she drug me to an orchid show! Huzzah!

Some observations about orchids and their 'people':

- Many of these crackers smell like they've been playing in the dirt just a little too long. Of course, that may be just the actual flowers. Some do, in fact, smell like rancid horse piss. AND THIS IS A SELLING POINT.
- Orchid salesfolk seem like they had to make a decision early in their lives: Cats or flowers. I see some of these old broads sitting around the house, watching Idol in the tropical climate that is their apartment, spritzing the overheated air with chemical water, or flat Faygo, or old Sanka, or whatever it is that these plants eat, while muttering about the color of Ellen's new teeth-caps, waiting for a response from Maya the Guatemalan suneater...AND GETTING ONE.
-Some of these goddamn plants look...ominous. I'm not saying they're meat eaters, but I'd like to see how many stray rodents are hanging around the typical orchid farm. Methinks there's at least one Little Shop of Horrors lurking out there.

Luckily, orchids make for some nice photographin'. There are a ton more vaguely dirty flowers on my Flickr page.