The calm before

Great White Dispatch
Notes From Damn Near Canada
No. 43
12/08/09
06:25

There’s a blizzard warning in effect for pretty much the entirety of Minnesota and western Wisconsin. We’ve known about this looming monster since Sunday night, and it’s supposed to unleash hell upon us sometime between now and Thursday. When it does, it could dump 1-8 inches of snow. That’s crack meteorology right there.

A subtle edge lingers in the air, as everyone waits, breath held and shovels at the ready, for our first real snow of the season. We made it through November warm and dry. Barely even rained, mostly settling on sunny and 45ish. But we know we’ll pay for this tropical November. You opt not to wear a coat to work the week of Thanksgiving? In Minnesota? Brother, you better believe that retribution will be paid in full.

The warnings are all over the place. The quiet little brine streaks that appeared on the roads overnight. The occasional flash of orange in the distance, snowplows laying down ash and gravel. Every third pickup in the land proudly sporting a bigass shovel. The dump trucks overflowing with sawdust. Oh yeah. Gonna be a mother.

As I sit in my kitchen window on this grey, cold (but not as cold as it goddamn will be) Tuesday morning, packs of tight little flakes – barely flakes! – ease their way down to the ground. No hurry or malice in their movements as they powder the tiny doe in the yard. These flakes are just along for the ride, going where the breeze wills them. We know they’re scouts, secret warriors sent to sweet talk us into opening our doors, into embracing the true army when it arrives. We know this. We know that snowy halo on the little deer’s brow is a portent of Very Bad Things. We know this. Winter is coming. This week. And all we can do is wait.

Until then, we chew our nails and salt our walks and hope we didn’t drive our rear-wheel Chevy Toboggan to work on the day Icy Hell descends upon us all. Winter ain’t coming. Winter is here. Chain up.