Thankful all THAT's over

Great White Dispatch
Notes from Damn Near Canada
No. 10
11/27/08
1345

Thankful all that’s over…

Thanksgiving Day is the end of a kinda-crappy couple of weeks. After spending 31 years displaying an immune system that would make Superman sniffle, I’ve been sick on and off for almost a month now. Thanks, Minnesota! Or more specifically, Thanks, casino! Or even more specifically, Thanks, cornucopia of random Asians and your exotic Far East diseases! My last month has been a Bouillabaisse of snot, cough syrup, in-and-out voices and weirdly sore body parts. I am proud to say that my lifelong streak of never puking due to illness is intact. Small victories.

In addition to my constantly fluctuating health situation, we’ve had the usual Gibbs family random problems. Three weekends ago, my ‘new’ vehicle made its inaugural trip to the gas station only to spit 10 gallons of fuel on the ground faster than I could put it in the tank. This would explain why the bastard was on ‘empty’ when I drove it home. Nothing like being stranded two miles from your house on a 20-degree morning while you wonder whether or not you’re going to blow up.

So I get that squared away just in time to discover that the mysterious water tank in my basement is slowly seeping water. And then not-so-slowly seeping water. Get my landlord over to look at it before the bottom drops out and unleashes 60 gallons of unfiltered well water all over my comic books and pretty much all my other cool possessions. The plan was to simply drain the tank, then cut it out of the plumbing loop because it really seemed to serve no purpose. Of course, we find that the plumbing in this place was done by ‘some dude’ and made no sense whatsoever. Pipes come in, pipes go out, pipes do loop-the-loops. My utility room is a cross between one of those warehouses in ‘Saw’ and some kid’s ultimate wet-dream Hot Wheels track, only I don’t get the fun that comes with torturing Donnie Wahlberg or smashing little race cars. I just get pipes, rusty water and a race against time.Eventually, we decide to call in a plumber, which is a pain in the ass because I’m never home and/or awake at Normal Human Hours.

Anyway, we get that done and it doesn’t cost me anything. Then yesterday I decide to fix the downstairs bathroom faucet that’s been dripping. Easy fix. Done it a 100 times, because I’ve never had the luxury of living somewhere with decent plumbing. As I’m shutting the hot water off, I accidentally torque the pipe and start an additional leak. Awesome. Nothing like making a little problem a terrible calamity. Plumbing is not my friend.

But today is Thanksgiving. As far as I know, there’s nothing leaking anywhere and for the first time in months, I really don’t have much to do. Airika’s attempting a Thanksgiving feast, there’s good music flowing from my iPod, I have a big pile of comic books, magazines and a novel waiting for me and pretty soon I’ll get a fire going in the fireplace. The dogs are in the kitchen, at the ready in case any stray turkey bits hit the floor. The deer are outside, scarfing corn and looking around like nervous deer do. And my bodily fluids seem to have congealed like day-old gravy. It’s a good day.